Keep Moving Forward

During the traumatic and dark last years of my marriage, I often found myself immobile.  I was in despair and depressed and some days could barely function.  My spirit was a mere shadow of itself.  I had a few brave souls who noticed it and commented on it.  One was my friend and roommate from my college years.  She said it was scary to see me at that time.  The light had left me.  She had come to town for work and stopped by for a visit.  After she returned home, she sent me a book with photos depicting the Savior's life and encouraged me to reconnect with the strong faith I had had in our youth.

Another person who saw my depressed state was my neighbor.  Ironically, at the time, we were just really well acquainted, not good friends.  We saw each other in group/neighborhood parties or when we borrowed baking ingredients from each other.  We rarely hung out or called each other. One day my neighbor came by to borrow Saran Wrap.  She spoke with me for several minutes.  She kept bringing up things that were in line with some of the searching I had been doing.  Finally, as she stood to say goodbye I felt I should tell her about my situation.  I did.  Then we talked for a long while.  She said she just knew something was wrong and that I just was not in a good place. 

After that, my neighbor and I started to walk together.  One day we had had a good walk and very nice talk.  She said, "I just see such good things for you in your future."  We rounded the corner and literally there was a double rainbow which from our angle or perspecitve looked like one end was directly entering my house.  The double irony in it was one of the last times I remembered seeing a double rainbow was on my wedding day.  It had a divine feel, a message of hope for my future no matter which path it took.

Reaching out was a catch-22 situation for me.  I needed to keep our struggles private to protect my boys from knowing.  But I also needed to develop a support system.  I could not deal healthily with this situation on my own.  My therapist calls is "opening your circle of support".  He encouraged it all along.

Looking back now, I see how messages, people and situations were placed directly in my path.  It was at that time that my boys started watching the Disney movie, "Meet the Robinsons."  One of the wise themes of the movie is, "Keeping Moving Forward."  I felt Heavenly Father gently moving me forward and providing light on the path forward.  Often the light came from a strangers like my new doctor, my online gratitude buddy or a hidden kindred spirit friend like my neighbor.  Each of whom (among others) I credit with getting me through this very difficult time.